A selection of possible movie promotion tag lines composed by Roger Ebert after exposing himself to Transformers 2 :
....a horrible experience of unbearable length...Modern technology allows Ebert to immediately compare his review to some of those in the British online media :
If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.The plot is incomprehensible.
The dialogue....is meaningless word flap.
(The Transformers) appearance looks like junkyard throw-up. They are dumb as a rock.
The battle scenes are bewildering.
....an incomprehensible confusion.
....dumber than a box of staples.
"Like watching paint dry while getting hit over the head with a frying pan!" (Bradshaw, Guardian)The kids will love it. Transformers 2 will make a solid billion around the world before it hits the discount DVD bin.
"Sums up everything that is most tedious, crass and despicable about modern Hollywood!" (Tookey, Daily Mail);
"A giant, lumbering idiot of a movie!" (Edwards, Daily Mirror).
