It's probably the greatest headline of the year, maybe even of the new century. Of course, it's from Pravda :
Earth Begins To Kill People For Changing Its Climate
A UN report claims that "at least 2.5 million have been killed in natural disasters" in the past 50 years. More than 1.6 million of those slaughtered by that vengeful pagan bitch goddess have died in the past two decades.
These stats are supposed to tell us that natural disasters, particularly those that kill lots of humans, are increasing. Don't you see? Mother Earth is pissed off at how we're treating the planet and is taking out some of the trash.
Ooohhhh. We're supposed to be scared? Why?
2.5 million dead from natural disasters in four decades doesn't actually sound so bad when you compare it to how effectively and enthusiastically we kill each other, and ourselves.
About one million people kill themselves every year around the world. That's about as close as you can get to an official figure. It's probably a lot more, as two out of three human deaths are not reported, never written down officially. Suicides rates are high, and climbing steadily, but you could average out, taking in smaller population numbers four or five decades ago, that probably 30-35 or so million people have killed themselves in the same time period that Nature : The Revenge has killed a few million, tops, with earthquakes, tidal waves, volcanoes and hurricanes. We murder each other at a rate of about two to three times that of suicides.
A few million dead from natural disasters in four decades? Compared to probably 100 million or more from suicide, murder and war?
Planet Earth is actually doing a pretty piss-weak job of massacring us.
That, of course, may change soon, if bird flu pandemic and global warming predictions become our horrific reality. But the real mega-millions death tolls would most likely, most realistically, result from Earth getting smashed by an asteroid only a few kilometres across.
If Earth really is killing us for destroying its climate, who gets the blame when this planet gets whacked from the reaches of deep space?
We came from the stars. Earth forgets that. We might have some interplanetary relatives who won't take kindly to our species getting slapped down by this uppity ecosphere. Don't fuck with us, Gaia, we have powerful friends.
