"If I Saw An Alien, I'd Tell It To F... Right Off"
As chief songwriter, and guitarist, of Oasis, Noel Gallagher supplied many of the songs that soundtracked the New Britannia (marketing) revolution in London in the mid-1990s. New Britannia was supposed to be a social revolution, too, with the prime minister Tony Blair all but reinventing Britain. Didn't quite work out that way.
Oasis had plenty of good songs, and plenty of dire dirges, and they turned out one of the true classic pop songs of the 1990s in 'Wonderwall' : a song I heard seeping from two churches on the same day in the same London street in 1999 - one church was hosting a funeral, the other a wedding.
But they also had one of the most brilliant Mancurian minds in Noel Gallagher, a man never afraid to say what he felt or what he was thinking.
And no doubt it pleased him all the more when he got shredded for opening his mouth and trashing any and all who gave him the shits. Gallagher knew how to play the tabloid game.
This feature from the UK Independent supplies a fat collection of Noel at his best (no dates unfortunately). Here are some favourites :
On Tony Blair
"It was a big deal, the landslide and all that, and everybody got carried away. We thought it was going to be John F Kennedy and for a year or two it was. Unfortunately for this Labour Government, they are going to be saddled with the Iraq war and nobody can get around that."
On the United States
"Whenever there is a conservative, Bible-waving half-wit ruling in the White House - whether it's Bush, his father or Reagan - there is war."
On fame
"When we started off, we wanted the girls, the cocaine, the fur coats. It wasn't like it was an act; it was almost like working-class people winning the pools. We went bananas."
On drugs
"I liked drugs, I was good at them."
On giving them up
"After you make the decision it is quite easy. And I am quite proud of the fact that I didn't have to check into one of those dodgy clinics."
On happiness
"Listen, I've got £87m in the bank. I've got a Rolls Royce. I've got three stalkers. I'm about to go on the board at Manchester City. I'm part of the greatest band in the world. Am I happy with that? No I'm not! I want more!"
On himself
"I'm not like John Lennon, who thought he was the great Almighty. I just think I'm John Lennon.
On growing up
"Once you've been knocked virtually unconscious on the floor by your Dad and you know you're not going to die, you're not afraid of anything."
On philosophy
"Progression is going forwards. Going backwards is regression. Going sideways is just aggression."
On Paul McCartney"Paul McCartney, one of the best songwriters of all time, has only produced manure for the past 25 years."
On hip hop
"I despise hip hop. Loathe it. Eminem is an idiot and I find 50 Cent the most distasteful character I have ever crossed in my life. I just don't like the dragging women around on dog leads and all that stuff. I'm not fucking having that."
On Live8
Correct me if I am wrong, but are they hoping that one of these guys from the G8 is on a quick 15-minute break at Gleneagles and sees Annie Lennox singing 'Sweet Dreams' and thinks, 'Fuck me, she might have a point there, you know'. It's not going to fucking happen, is it?"
On the possibility of life on other planets
"If I saw an alien, I'd tell it to f..k right off because whatever planet he came from they wouldn't have the Beatles or any decent fucking music... I ain't going nowhere with them."
